So, I am all about getting some quality advice. Nothing beats having a vent session with one of your best friends over a nice glass of Cabernet. Exchanging stories, maybe getting some words of wisdom on how to handle a specific situation in your life. There are a handful of people, who when they share an opinion or give out advice, I listen.
Let me just tell y'all, the cashier at Walgreens is NOT one of them.
**DISCLAIMER**This is another vent post. Sorry in advance.
Everyone has those people in life that believe handing out advice is their God given gift. Well no, can I speak for us all and say, "IT SURE ISN'T."
So here is my collection, "The You Knows," spoken to me by people on all aspects of the spectrum. From the cashier at Walgreens to random acquaintances who love to tell me the life I am leading is dreadful. This post is dedicated to you.
You know living apart is hard. Really? I had no clue. I've only been in a long distance relationship for a year now. I've seen my boyfriend less times than you see yours in two weeks, but please, continue to tell me how hard it is to live apart from the one you love, especially when your significant other lives in the same room as you.
You'll move away if you guys get married. You may move overseas and won't get to see you family. Guess that means you aren't very family oriented. Yep, that is what I am looking forward to the most! Didn't you know?? Idiots. Obviously you don't know me very well. My 16 year old sister is my best friend, and I don't go a day without talking to her. Just because I may move to a different state, doesn't mean that will ever change. I grew up in a home where family means everything, and I plan on carrying that wherever I go. Whether it be in Japan or way out in flipping outer space.
You know he'll be gone all the time right? I don't know why you would want to have a husband that is never home. Nope, that never crossed my mind. Thanks for letting me know that though since I am sure you are an expert on absent husbands or relationships for that matter. So, in case anyone wondered, this thought crosses my mind everyday. And you know why I want to have a husband that is "never home?" Because I love him and want to share the rest of my life with him. Because our love is stronger than a four month deployment Simple as that. Next point, please!
You know when he deploys he may not be able to talk to you for weeks at a time. Considering the person that gave me this tidbit of information has zero connection to any branch of military and believes "deployment" means years and years of living in a cave in Iraq, I should just let this comment roll off my back. The rapid growth of technology has truly been a lifesaver for long distance relationships. Believe it or not, there are opportunities for soldiers to contact their loved ones while on deployments. Each deployment is different, however, sometimes they can bring their phones and computers. So, yes, there will be weeks at a time where we can't speak, sometimes months, but what does that change? I can tell you it definitely doesn't change the fact that no matter what, I will stand next to my soldier, through the good and the bad. To the months of no contact to the times where I cherish every second he is safe at home with me.
You know Army men don't make that much money. Well I wasn't aware you were getting a paycheck from the Army! No, soldiers may not make 6 figures a year, and many would love to make more $$$ (who wouldn't love to make more $$$), but the benefits they receive aren't too shabby. Housing and food allowance along next-to-nothing insurance costs are not a bad gig. Besides, is it really any of your business what others are depositing in their bank account? UM NO.
You know when people come back from overseas they have PTSD. What if he has to kill someone? First of all, I am pretty sure you don't know what PTSD is, so I'm not exactly sure why you are even asking. If you aren't my dad or my best friend, don't ever ask me that what if question.
Let me just go ahead and put it out there. Just because YOU may not want to live a certain way doesn't mean I think it is awful. Just because YOU think it is crazy to marry into the military, doesn't mean I agree. This is MY life, not YOURS. I genuinely appreciate the care and concern from the people in my life that know T and me personally. But to the complete stranger, if you see me working out in my Army tee shirt and you think it is a good idea to come up and start chatting away about one of those 6 things I have listed above because your cousin's friend's boyfriend's mother married a Marine during Vietnam, you are absolutely dead wrong.
To the rest of my friends, please don't be afraid to talk to me about military life and think the times when we have spoken about it I want to tell you to shut the heck up. Not true at all. I feel the deepest appreciation to those of you that have let me vent, given me encouraging words, or just sent me a random text and ask how I am holding up during those no contact periods.
Just remember, when you think you know everything about someone, walk a mile in their boots before putting down their decisions.
Oh, and shout out to Tammy, the cashier at Walgreens, that inspired this post.
Until Next Time.
Always
