Anyway.
The best words to describe my life right now-"I don't know." About two weeks ago, I came to this realization-I am more than a military girlfriend waiting not so patiently to be a military wife. Being an independent, strong-willed girl, I am surprised it took me this long to see all of the wonderful blessings in my life. Let me explain.
My soldier and I have been rocking the long distance relationship for almost a year now. Since he moved to Fayetteville, North Carolina (which is where the Army base-Fort Bragg- is located) I have had what I like to call tunnel vision. The only thing I could see was my soldier. Going back and forth with if, how, and when I would be able to move to Fort Bragg to be with him ASAP. I am not kidding, these thoughts consumed my mind all the time-day and night. For the majority of October, my soldier has been at Special Forces Assessment and Selection (SFAS). SFAS is basically a three week tryout to be apart of an elite group within the Army. I will post about that later though. During the three weeks, we had no contact and for some reason, the light bulb came on during the third week.
I am my own person. I have my own identity. I am so much more than a body connected to the military.
This realization has left me with a lot of scary thoughts. Do I actually want to leave my southern roots and head to the east coast? Do I want to allow the Army to tell me what I can and cannot do or where I can and cannot live? How am I going to live with my husband being gone on frequent deployments, most with no contact? How am I going to live this life? Will I ever accept that this our future as a couple? All of the questions have the same answer.
I just do not know.
The only thing I know is that I love him very much. That's enough to make it through everything, right?
Until Next Time.
Always.
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